I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
