Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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