Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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