The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
