The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
