I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
