I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
