I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
