actually, I'm a sock model
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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