Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
pray to the hookup gods
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think my moral compass just broke
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
