Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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