i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
