I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
