I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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