He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Randomize
