There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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