kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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