mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
