3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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