problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
