All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Panties = found
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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