wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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