Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
