Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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