So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
