i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
