I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
