Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
