just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hippo gnu deer
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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