ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
