he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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