We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
