im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize
