yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
