I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
