Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
