i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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