Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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