one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
