so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
