OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
