my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
