I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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