sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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