My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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