If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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