I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
