I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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