i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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