i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
