i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
even my farts smell like vagina
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
