I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
