So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
