we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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