this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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