I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize