THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
