let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
