TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
