still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
