There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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