Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
