no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
