There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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