He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
