I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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