there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
